How To Photograph A Puppy

 Remove film from box and load camera
 Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
 Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
 Choose a suitable background for photo
 Mount camera on tripod and focus
 Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
 Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
 Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees
  Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand
  Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
  Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
  Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
  Put magazines back on coffee table
  Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
  Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
  Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
  Call someone to help clean up mess
  Fix a drink
  Sit back in Lazy Boy with large, strong drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning

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Web Page first created on Saturday, January 24, 1998  GMT